ohmygod I'm to stupid to post from my phone

and thats why I havent postet yet. >_<
well I'm kinda okay with very different moods.

So I hope all of you are fine and I'll be able to read your blogs as much as possible.

To compensate my lack of posts I decided to post pictues of my body.
I took them today and I dont know what my excact weight ist because I was weighted while having breakfast and lunch still in my stomach und with clothes on. With all of that I was 64.7 kgs (142.6lbs) but the last few weeks I was between 63.3 - 63.5 kgs (139.5 - 139.9 lbs) so I guess I'm still around that.


be ready for something disgusting!

yeah well and thats it.
I'm really ashamed.



here I took a picture with cloth on.

and here I badly photoshopped what I wish to look like as a first goal.

so this were alot of pictures.
please comment so I know you didnt die from looking at them or something ^^

lots of love,
Bella <3

beginning of a new era

hey ladies,
I'm sorry I've been absent for awhile again.
Tomorrow a whole new life starts.
I'm gonna go to a clinic to cure my insomnia and depression. I was so scared of to go into therapy for too many years and now I'll go and fight and dont hide it anymore.
I still fear the whole thing and talking and everything but it's to late to worry about that, from tomorrow on I'll be there. It's an open clinic, with means I can leave the building in my free time and go home on weekends after two weeks and keep my phone.
I dont know if I'll be able to update from my phone (got a phone with internet connection a few weeks ago) but I will if its possible because I know you girls understand me.
I just sent a message to a few close friends in facebook telling them that I'm going there tomorrow... and it was so hard. I simply couldnt tell anybody because I am weak.
whatever.

I love all of you and I really hope you're all fine <3