I WAS FAT ALL MY LIFE. but u know whats strange...?

Hey girls,
I'm back with another post... I wanted to make this for a while.
I know I felt fat most of my life. Since grade 2 or 3, I can remember it clearly.
Not like chubby but like overweight-fat.
I want to show you some pics and want you to honestly tell me what you think.
Please, everyone who sees this.

btw it was so much work to find these pictures. I always thought of myself as ugly so of course nobody was allowed to take photos of me.
somehow, a few exist though.

this was when I was eleven.
I am really dark in that picture because this was summervacation with my parents.
The reason why they were allowed to take a photo was the outfit I'm wearing. It says 'ALL STAR' and that reminded me of converse :D

I didn't actually look like overweight did I?
I wasn't.
But I felt like.






this was summer 2006 when I was 12.
I'm the one in the middle.
The other two were my vacation friends I met there.
It might be a little confusin that the girl on the right is a bit chubby while the one of the left was eating disordered (I think so. I didnt realize it at that time, but one or two years later I remembered her saying 'Im eating so much, two yoghurts!' but she was already at recovery at that time).


I was overweight there either...


no body pictues from when I was 13. Actually not even memories of this year.




spring when I turned 14, my confirmation outfit.
Maybe I've been chubby but never overweight...

but why do I remember being fat all my live?












I dont know which time that was, but something around 14-15.
I'm the girl on the left.
Dont ask why this is so blurry and ugly and everything, we're drunk.
But look at my legs! (click picture)
they dont look like really fat or something. Not thin or skinny, but definitely not fat.









and here we have me at 15.
I felt save to show my eyes. Well, it just because I like them in that photo.
but look at it.
there is a fucking little gap between my tights. WTF.

it's like all the pics show someone different, but not me.










this is summer '09 when I was 15.
The photo was taken in the swedish woods during vacation over there.
Normally, I dont smoke.
But I was really fucked up (mentally) when I was there. And smoking was really comforting... I didnt smoke at all before and there I was like a chainsmoker. But when I left two weeks later, all the pressure droped and I didnt smoke anymore.

yeah still not overweight....

this is summer 2010 in scottland.
I was 16.
still not thin.
still not fat.
even standing next to a friend (left) who is thin, with a boyish body shape I (right)dont look like a complete whale.... mysterious.









so here you go, I wanna hear what you think! Please be honest!
No more pictures, they would be too new and I cant find one anyway.

I love you girls.<3
thanks for always staying with me.
you know I didnt censor the photos because I dont trust you. I just dont trust others. And my face looks awfully stupid in most of them....

have a good night ladies<3