son of a bitch?

Hey Ladies,
I apologize for the following post, because I'm really really upset and need to get rid of my thoughts.

my son-of-a-bitch-landlord is really annoying and the father of two of my roomates.
Thats why he thinks he could do everything he wants in this house, 'visit' whenever he feels like and everything.
We're not such a tidy community and he complains about that all the time. We made a plan for our housecleaning so we can see who does it and who dont. The slimey-dissembling-son#1 (my boyfriends best friend) always tells him me and my boyfriend would do anything, while he does everything. He really does alot of thing, but we do our stuff too, only his brother (son#2) has no intentions in doing anything, but he moves out in a few moths, so his father doesnt really care.
Now my boyfriend and me didnt write anything on the plan since he has the big bathroom and I have little bathroom and hallway (dont need all over cleaning every 3 days). But slimey-son#1 only needs to take out trashbags and turn on the dishwasher, and everytime he does it, he wrote it down. So this was maybe once or twice a week but still we have fruit flies after a few days because he only takes them out if they're really full. But this is really NO WORK. His brother, son#2, has to sweep the floor and kitchen counter and hasnt done this since weeks before we had the plan.
So if I clean my basin, but the plan didnt contain that kind of work, only 'bathroom cleaned', it looks like I havent done anything. Btw, son#1 who made the plan completely forgot the little bathroom and I had to add it with a pen.
The son-of-a-bitch-landlord says if it doesnt get better we'll have to move out, after one warning. He said my boyfriend and me will get a warning even if he hadnt checked how the bathrooms looked! I fucking hate him!

And I would love to move out of this hut, but theres the next problem: my boyfriend.
he believes its cool in this little village and he wants to live in the same house with his best friend (who never has time for him because everyone is more important) and thinks you could only throw parties in a house like this.
And I cant move out by myself, because I dont have enough money and I really cant live without him... and thats rather sad than romantic.
I dont want to move in with my partents again but I really dont know what to do anymore ):


sorry for this angry-rambling-post,
and btw I managed to go out running two days ago.

someone motivate me

to go out running with my boyfriend.

I still have a cold and went to the doctor today so I can sit out in PE and my stomach is hurting like hell all day and I dont know why. ):
BUT
this may be reasons but I dont want any excuses anymore.
How can I ever look skinny and beautiful if I just lay around in bed?
Yeah, never so I have to go!

motivation, yay! go me!

omg 30 readers

ILOVEYOU



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BellaMeowMeow
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I WAS FAT ALL MY LIFE. but u know whats strange...?

Hey girls,
I'm back with another post... I wanted to make this for a while.
I know I felt fat most of my life. Since grade 2 or 3, I can remember it clearly.
Not like chubby but like overweight-fat.
I want to show you some pics and want you to honestly tell me what you think.
Please, everyone who sees this.

btw it was so much work to find these pictures. I always thought of myself as ugly so of course nobody was allowed to take photos of me.
somehow, a few exist though.

this was when I was eleven.
I am really dark in that picture because this was summervacation with my parents.
The reason why they were allowed to take a photo was the outfit I'm wearing. It says 'ALL STAR' and that reminded me of converse :D

I didn't actually look like overweight did I?
I wasn't.
But I felt like.






this was summer 2006 when I was 12.
I'm the one in the middle.
The other two were my vacation friends I met there.
It might be a little confusin that the girl on the right is a bit chubby while the one of the left was eating disordered (I think so. I didnt realize it at that time, but one or two years later I remembered her saying 'Im eating so much, two yoghurts!' but she was already at recovery at that time).


I was overweight there either...


no body pictues from when I was 13. Actually not even memories of this year.




spring when I turned 14, my confirmation outfit.
Maybe I've been chubby but never overweight...

but why do I remember being fat all my live?












I dont know which time that was, but something around 14-15.
I'm the girl on the left.
Dont ask why this is so blurry and ugly and everything, we're drunk.
But look at my legs! (click picture)
they dont look like really fat or something. Not thin or skinny, but definitely not fat.









and here we have me at 15.
I felt save to show my eyes. Well, it just because I like them in that photo.
but look at it.
there is a fucking little gap between my tights. WTF.

it's like all the pics show someone different, but not me.










this is summer '09 when I was 15.
The photo was taken in the swedish woods during vacation over there.
Normally, I dont smoke.
But I was really fucked up (mentally) when I was there. And smoking was really comforting... I didnt smoke at all before and there I was like a chainsmoker. But when I left two weeks later, all the pressure droped and I didnt smoke anymore.

yeah still not overweight....

this is summer 2010 in scottland.
I was 16.
still not thin.
still not fat.
even standing next to a friend (left) who is thin, with a boyish body shape I (right)dont look like a complete whale.... mysterious.









so here you go, I wanna hear what you think! Please be honest!
No more pictures, they would be too new and I cant find one anyway.

I love you girls.<3
thanks for always staying with me.
you know I didnt censor the photos because I dont trust you. I just dont trust others. And my face looks awfully stupid in most of them....

have a good night ladies<3