hey ladies,
I'm at work right now and I feel sick but I drag myself to work because I have to. And I'm proud of it. Seems stupid, I know, but its sth like an archievment for me because I always used excuses to avoid going to school/work just because I didnt feel well. But I never really feel well if I have to get up in the morning, so this kept on going worse, but now I at work and I'm gonna do this properly.
I feel like this is my last chance of doing something with my life.
When I started blogging I just changed school after having very bad marks in 10th grade. I was going to a fashion school but I was totally in the wrong course, a bunch of annoying bitches were my classmates and the teachers where kinda scary psychos. I was good at most subjects because it was easy but my classmates slowly started making me feel very uncomfortable and bullying me for no real reason. People just dont like me. Even though I always try so hard.
After that I worked a few months at the theatre and as the next year started I was continuing school (11th grade) at a different school. this was the first time I had a nice class. They were mostly a little younger than me and I thought before that would become a problem, but it wasnt. Of course I wasnt one of the crowd, but I made two friends, a guy and a girl, both two years older than me and theyre really great. I could get along with most of my classmates, thats something I didnt have before.
But my stupid depression and anxiety werr dragging me down, so after a few months I couldnt go to school and I was really sad because I couldnt go back after missing some weeks of school because it was too difficult to catch up with the lessons.
enough of the rant.
I havent eaten anything so far today and I really shouldnt because I got trouble to stop eating when I'm full for the last two weeks or so. I dont know why because I didnt overeat usually because I naturally stopped. Now I have to be careful. I'm considering splitting my meals into really small portions so I am not able to overeat.
Love.
Bella
i understand being bullyied for what looks like no reason...i went through the same almost all my life, and i asked the shrink why no one ever likes me...because if three or four people in different situations seem to not like you, that means somethings wrong...she never gave me a straight answer, and i still feel the same... congrats on going to work, i almost quit mine, and am proud that am staying on.xx
AntwortenLöschenIts just excactly what I think, if many people dont like you for no specific reason something is wrong. Or maybe we're just way too different from them and thats because they dont like us while they say we are a smart-arse, too shy, too loud, a whore, bitchy, mean, dressed ugly, uncool, childish, not fun enough, boring, or whatever without having talked to us. Maybe its something they dont get and thats why theyre making up things so it sounds reasonable to not like us.
LöschenHowever I hope you can keep it up going to work <3
Nominated you for a blog award over at my blog. Hope you're okay honey xx
AntwortenLöschen