feeling sick but staying strong?

hey ladies,
I'm at work right now and I feel sick but I drag myself to work because I have to. And I'm proud of it. Seems stupid, I know, but its sth like an archievment for me because I always used excuses to avoid going to school/work just because I didnt feel well. But I never really feel well if I have to get up in the morning, so this kept on going worse, but now I at work and I'm gonna do this properly.
I feel like this is my last chance of doing something with my life.

When I started blogging I just changed school after having very bad marks in 10th grade. I was going to a fashion school but I was totally in the wrong course, a bunch of annoying bitches were my classmates and the teachers where kinda scary psychos. I was good at most subjects because it was easy but my classmates slowly started making me feel very uncomfortable and bullying me for no real reason. People just dont like me. Even though I always try so hard.
After that I worked a few months at the theatre and as the next year started I was continuing school (11th grade) at a different school. this was the first time I had a nice class. They were mostly a little younger than me and I thought before that would become a problem, but it wasnt. Of course I wasnt one of the crowd, but I made two friends, a guy and a girl, both two years older than me and theyre really great. I could get along with most of my classmates, thats something I didnt have before.
But my stupid depression and anxiety werr dragging me down, so after a few months I couldnt go to school and I was really sad because I couldnt go back after missing some weeks of school because it was too difficult to catch up with the lessons.
enough of the rant.

I havent eaten anything so far today and I really shouldnt because I got trouble to stop eating when I'm full for the last two weeks or so. I dont know why because I didnt overeat usually because I naturally stopped. Now I have to be careful. I'm considering splitting my meals into really small portions so I am not able to overeat.

Love.
Bella

I cant seem to update regulary...

...not that it's something new.

well since nobody messaged me about the photomanip. I guess nobody is interested or nobody read it.

however I still wanna show what I meant.

its older work from when I was just trying and learning and I've gotten better by now, but I only got this to show here so I hope you know what I was talking about.
If anyones interested, please let me know.

lots of love. ♥