realization

Dear Ladies,

I am 18. And I feel old.
Like Really.
I sometimes feel like I've grown up to quick. I already tried everything girls my age do.
I'm gonna move in with my boyfriend, just the two of us, in the next few weeks.
I know I should be happy and I really am but there is something in my mind that feels bad about all of this.
I feel so old.
I realize I'm not that young anymore.
I'm in that age where you start being reasonable or grown up.
But somehow that feeling wont stop that I need to be 15 again and just dont giving a fuck.

well, I cant get back so I'm gonna deal with it anyways. Maybe I can find a way to express my feelings better than in that stupid text I just wrote. Maybe I can find a way to make my feelings go away.

So far today I ate

an apple
a chocolate chip cookie
salad with mozzarella
few sips of diet coke lemon

thats pretty little for me I think.
I also went on a little walk in the evening after work.
I'm gonna eat something now but just some vegetables with sauce, I think.
and then I'm gonna SLEEEEEEP like I should. Yeah... this has to work.
And I fucking want to keep this up because I am FAT. uhgidgthsitfjm

just some pictures I like and want to share with you.


love,
Bella