I've been a bad blogger for way too long

But this is gonna change!
I really need to update more often also for myself, so I dont get lost again and come back weeks later. And didnt get anything done.

Yesterday was a nice day food-wise.
I hab a bad start with some cookies and cocoa (wasnt worth it, just got a stomach ache) but didnt eat untill evening. For dinner I had scrambled egg, spinach with some garlic and fried potatoes.
aaaand because I slept so long I tried to stay awake the whole night (normally I'm wide awake all night and get tired around 8am) and I managed to do this without a single bite of food, yeah!
I'm proud ;D
Today I had a tomato so far but I need something good for breakfast, havent decided what yet.





Today my boyfriend and me are gonna buy the wallpapers for our new flat! (:





I was thinking they should be just white and we might decorate it a bit or something.
But somehow since yesterday I think if we find a cute
wallpaper maybe we buy a few rolls with pattern and the rest just white.
Aww I dont know, cant decide >.<
bf is no help, he just always says he wouldnt care but thats absolutely not true because there are lots of things he doesnt like.
Well, whatever, if he doesnt say anything usefull, I'm gonna choose.






I already worry what to eat tonight since there is a possibility of visiting my parents and when I'm over there I eateateat. Maybe I'll just bring something and ask my Mom not to make any other food since she would have to cook something especially for me (because I dont eat meat but my brother loves it).
Perhaps I could bring a low fat feta cheese and eat it with a salad or something.

I shouldnt worry so much.
I'm gonna do this!

Lots of Love :*
Bella

realization

Dear Ladies,

I am 18. And I feel old.
Like Really.
I sometimes feel like I've grown up to quick. I already tried everything girls my age do.
I'm gonna move in with my boyfriend, just the two of us, in the next few weeks.
I know I should be happy and I really am but there is something in my mind that feels bad about all of this.
I feel so old.
I realize I'm not that young anymore.
I'm in that age where you start being reasonable or grown up.
But somehow that feeling wont stop that I need to be 15 again and just dont giving a fuck.

well, I cant get back so I'm gonna deal with it anyways. Maybe I can find a way to express my feelings better than in that stupid text I just wrote. Maybe I can find a way to make my feelings go away.

So far today I ate

an apple
a chocolate chip cookie
salad with mozzarella
few sips of diet coke lemon

thats pretty little for me I think.
I also went on a little walk in the evening after work.
I'm gonna eat something now but just some vegetables with sauce, I think.
and then I'm gonna SLEEEEEEP like I should. Yeah... this has to work.
And I fucking want to keep this up because I am FAT. uhgidgthsitfjm

just some pictures I like and want to share with you.


love,
Bella